Softie's going away, to a farm in Marsiling... I wonder if the new owner will treat her well, will feed her proper dog food, give her water, shelter, training, toys and all that she needs... Phillip said she'll be a guard dog there, but I'm worried that she'll only be treated as a guard dog, hence no proper food, water and shelter to sleep in at night.... My poor baby... I'm gonna miss her so very very much!! Was looking at her photos I had taken in the last four months that she lived with us... I cried... When Phillip was talking to me on the phone in the train, I cried too, while asking about the new owner. He kept reassuring me that she will be well taken care of, will have companions and all.. But I just can't help but be damn fucking worried. After I hung up the phone with Phillip, I cried again. Damn. So embarassing. My eyes were all red. Now too. I just printed all of Softie's photos that I took in the last two months.... I don't know how to ... Itz like... I've lost a part of me.. Although itz only a short 4 months, I wish she's mine to keep... I hope she will enjoy the rest of her life at the farm, I hope no one will ill-treat her, abuse her but will shower her with lots of love and time. Phillip said after Softie goes to her new home, she will belong to the guy and there will be no visitation and my tears just came... In torrents, I might say. Couldn't control it. Had to breathe hard to stop myself from crying while I carried on the conversation with him. Damn I'm crying again. I told him to take her away anytime next week... Any longer and I might go hysterical when they take her away. I can't imagine my reaction when they come to take her.. I wonder what Softie will do.. Will she just be quiet? Bark? Bite? Try to run away? Will she hate me for giving her away? Will her new owner follow up with her vaccinations? Microchip? Licence? De-worm? Will Softie be abused? Beaten? Killed? If something ever happens to her when she's at the farm, I'll never, ever forgive myself for sending her into that misery.. Will she try to escape from the farm and find her way home? Will she run away from the farm and get caught by the AVA or SPCA and then be put to sleep? I can't stop thinking of the endless possibilities... Itz so hard to look on the bright side and feel that everything's gonna be fine and she's gonna be happy. Perhaps happier.

I cannot imagine loving another dog so much... ....

I love you, Softie. I know you can't read... Maybe this will help: Bow wow woof roof~~


Lotsa hugs, muakz and belly rubs from Mummy..