SICK!!!

Damn tired. Back aching. Feeling nauseated from lack of sleep. Need a massage. And a nap.


He called at 4am this morning and asked me if I could go over to his place to accompany him. I was like HUH?!! 4am!!??!! I asked him why he wanted me to go over and he said "Nothing.."

WTF.

Nothing?! Then you want me to spend my money and sleeping time on you? I was hoping he'd say something like he missed me and I would have flown over in an aeroplane if I could charter one. Nah, just kidding. I would've gone over in a cab even though it was 4am and I had to work like 5 hours later. This kuku didn't say anything I would've very much loved to hear and so I stayed in my bed, till 8am. I just found it weird that he was looking for me instead of his NEW GF hah.

I'm even wondering if he *does* have a new gf. I felt (..... ...... .hmmm.. what's the word?) Dunno which word to describe how I felt at that moment.... I was happy that he missed me but I'm just still upset at how he doesn't want to express his feelings towards me. I could feel that he misses me and the days we had... Muahaha~~ Very thick-skinned of me to say that eh... But its true; I felt it. I do, too, but I would only want to get together again if he shows that he still cares... Like a lover, not a friend... Cares like how he used to care for me when we were in the first year of our relationship.

Not that I wanna boast about anything, but I felt that I was always the one who constantly wanted to give him the best... I was the one who always thought of getting something he would like for him .. To me, I felt that he was always at the receiving end and I was always giving. Not that I'm complaining, but I'm really bothered at this lack of thought for me most of the time. The warmest thing he'd ever done for me was to cycle out to the mall to buy me a stuffed toy as a V-day prezzie after I had given him his.... All on V-Day itself. I mean, I would like anything that he gets, I'd appreciate it more if he had put in some effort to do it, instead of making it a last-minute effort to make himself look better. To conclude, I just don't feel really important to him.


Anyway I was feeling really nauseated like fifteen minutes ago... Went to the washroom and threw up..... Feel much better now. Urgh. =(