TirEd

I'm so tired!!!! Like, haven't been getting enough sleep. Mind is blank as of late. Feels lethargic.. Even overturned a styrofoam cup with 3-in-1 coffee mix and half a cup of hot water onto the carpet floor in the office. So weak.


I've been laughing so much the last few days that I'm beginning to wonder why. Am I laughing so much because i'm genuinely happy? Or am I just making up for the laughter I lost with a loved one for the last 2 years 9 months? Or am I just using the laughter to hide the sadness that actually dwells deep within me?


I must be crazy to be thinking about all these because Eric has been the bestest, the sweetest, the most loving and most caring boyfriend one can ever have.. Really... From the bottom of my heart I swear this is really what I feel and think about him. I am really finding back the courage to love someone with my everything... I dunno how much more time I need.. But I really, really want to love him the way he loves me.. Like unconditional... I feel safe in his arms.. Feel protected and super, super loved. Like on Saturday night he came to stay and when I woke him up because I was having a headache at 3+ in the morning, he massaged my head and really tried to make me feel better. He would do anything to make me happy, even if I wanted him to wear a baby pink polo tee LOL I feel really, really shiawase yo~ He has done so much for me and is willing to do even more.. I really find it super duper difficult NOT to be touched by what he has done for me and the amount of love he has showered on me.. OMG this post is getting to be a tad too mushy.. LOL



Just realised that the mood of my post has turned from melancholic to cheery~ ^_^ Yep.. and looking forward to the big-super-duper-warm-beary-loving-ultra-sweet hug I'm going to get later~~!! Hee~~!!