I'm back at the 失恋杂志 webby... Long time since I last visited the site, and it has changed so much! Managed to register on the site but cos the office notebook can't allow me to input Chinese characters, have to wait till I go home before I can do any decent update to my profile there... Still remember it was Charlie-NuA-iXt-Tan-Chee-Khiong who introduced me to 失恋杂志 during the preparations for ANE5 and subsequently got me hooked onto 水瓶鯨魚's works followed by other works by other writers/bloggers; all of which are published on the site itself. 失恋杂志 can be purchased from the Kinokuniya bookstore at Ngee Ann City. I've always got my 失恋杂志s from there. I sound like a cyber advertisement.
Went shopping at Tampines last night with the intention of getting a white v-neck halter top. Bumped into Auntie Annie and Auntie Judy.... Yup... Jack's mom and aunt. They asked me to join them for dinner... So I did.... On the account that we were very close and she's super nice to me. Walked around a bit and I managed to get a very nice white top... Really very nice and very comfy. Shall upload a pic of it later. While browsing through the racks, he appeared... I didn't know what to do or say. We didn't talk. We didn't smile at each other. We didn't even look at each other. It felt ultimately awkward to be there but I didn't want to be rude.. So I didn't leave early. I just felt sad that what used to be, is no longer the same.. I still feel so much for him but all that I've done is all in vain. Murphy's Law says that The amount of love someone feels for you is inversely proportional to how much you love them. True?
Was chatting with Sis in my room last night and talked about my past relationships with Danny, Kenneth, and of course, Jack. Danny was my first serious boyfriend and we lasted for about a year.. We were both growing and maturing, but unfortunately, at a different pace and in different directions so we had to split. Next was Kenneth... My family's favourite guy even until now. Ken was the sweetest, most considerate and most thoughtful guy I've ever come across... Really... I've never thrown out any of his gifts or pictures in any spring cleaning session but he had to leave me in an auto accident...
As for Jack and the incidents that happened between us, I have the only option of forgetting everything... We lasted the longest but this relationship has brought to me more hurt and pain than laughter and joy. Don't have to mention more... Nothing worth mentioning anyway.....
Had a good chat with Jean yesterday and she gave me a lot of answers to many questions burning in my head.. Thanks pal.. They were useful.. Especially the "It was a wise choice, though it may not be the BEST choice." That was what I needed to tell myself so that I will stop all this self-reproach and move on with my life a happier girl.
~*~ Cheers to a better tomorrow! ~*~
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