My Past Life

I'm so traumatised.

According to this website, I was a depressed ugly woman in one of my past lives.


HOW BAD CAN IT GET!!!


I don't believe in past lives or reincarnation actually, but that webby really provided a good laugh for everyone amidst the stressed up atmosphere in the conference room we are working in.


Dar was a scheming prime minister in one, and a handsome dentist in another.

Colleague J was a pitiful songstress.

Colleague CT was a depressed, ugly woman. Her sons were a shit collector and prostitute.

Colleague CC was a great Chinese physician with skills equivalent to Hua Tuo. Her husband was a eunuch.


I went to get my past life calculated just for fun and when I saw the results, I laughed till I cried and everyone had to come over to my notebook to see what I used to be.

But I was quite impressed when I saw the following chunk of text ...

你的性格有如一隻火鳳凰，對世上很多事情都有獨到的見解，而且思想反傳統，腦裡經常有奇特新穎的慨念，屬於創作天才。你做事的確夠爽快，不過亦欠缺持久性，遇到阻滯時心裡就會想：不如放棄吧，這樣就很難貫徹始終了。戀愛方面，喜歡追求熱烈而短暫的愛情，與追求浪漫激情的人就最相襯。

translated by Babelfish to read:

Your disposition has like a fire phoenix, very many matters all has the original opinion to the world in, moreover the thought counter-tradition, in the brain frequently has unusually is novel indignantly reads, belongs to the creation talent. You work are indeed refreshed, but also is short of the durability, meets hinders when in the heart to be able to think: Was inferior to gave up, very was like this difficult to implement throughout. The love aspect, likes pursuing warm and the short love, most sets off with the pursue romantic fervor person.


Err... Don't mean to poke fun at the Babelfish team, after all it took them a lot of smarts and work to produce a script for Babelfish. Still want to thank them for their hard work, 'ya know. I ain't an ingrate because I did not use the books that Master NuA-iXt loaned me 34509824624 years ago to clean doggie's arse.


A telemarketer one of my colleagues to try to market a HSBC credit card to her. She was quite persistent lah but colleage CT was persistent too.


telemarketer: Hi, may I speak to Ms CT please.

Colleague CT: Yes, what is it regarding?

telemarketer: I'm so-and-so calling from HSBC yadda yadda yadda.. We're currently having a promotion yak yak yak... blah blah blah Credit card... (the usual introductory formalities)

CCT: Errr... I'm not interested.

telemarketer: But you haven't even heard about the offer!

CCT: No lah.. I'm not interested..

telemarketer: This is a very good package, you know.

CCT: No, no, no. I'm really not interested.


click.


Colleague CT heaved a sigh of relief and then 5 minutes later, the phone rang again and the same voice asked for Ms JA.

Colleague JA starts waving her hands frantically, signalling CT to say she's not around.

This woman ah, so persistent. Called thrice again after lunch and I volunteered to pose as JA the next time she calls.


ring ring ring...

me: Hello.

telemarketer (let's call her T for short.): Hello, may I speak to Ms JA please?

me: Speaking.

t: I'm so-and-so calling from HSBC yadda yadda yadda.. We're currently having a promotion yak yak yak... blah blah blah Credit card... (the usual introductory formalities)

me: Err... I'm not interested.

t: But you haven't even heard about the offer!

me: No lah.. I'm not interested..

t: This is a very good package, you know.

me: No, no, no. I'm really not interested.

t: But..

me (intercepting her 'but'): Look, I have 5 credit cards and I'm unable to clear my bills already. Please do not call me again.


click. phone went dead. colleagues in same room erupt in laughter.


I'm so clever!

---

Before I forget, I must say I was very pissed off when I went shopping last night.

I was out with my sis at Tampines Mall and Century Square. We were happily window shopping when we walked past the shop Samuel & Kevin. Some apparel on display caught our attention, so we went in to take a look. First thing that happened:

No one greeted us. Not even a smile.

Fine. We browsed through the racks and then I saw a light blue top that caught my attention for its floral designs on the front of the tee. I took it off the rack and I turned to the sales staff behind me, smiled and asked nicely if I could try it on. I expected her to take the top off the hanger, pass the tee to me, smile and direct me to the fitting room.

Basic customer service, no?

I love shopping at Giordano cos their staff are always so smily, friendly and helpful. Personal touch.

I digressed.

And what did the salesgirl do?

She merely turned her palm towards the direction of the fitting room. No smile. No interaction. Nothing.

RRRoooaaarrrrr!!

I turned to my sis and re-did what the salesgirl did to me. Sis said "Don't buy!"

I hung the top back, turned 45 degrees to my left where the salesgirl was, and said "So rude."

We walked out of the shop, with sis swearing quite loudly

Tamade! Think we got no money to buy your clothes is it? Give us this kind of attitude!

I bet she was saying KNN in her heart but didn't say it cos she's an uber nice girl, actually. I love her, you know.

I'm so tempted to write in to Samuel & Kevin to complain about it cos they gave me the same treatment earlier on when I was still waiting for my sis to knock off from work.

Damn rude; the sales staff there. No wonder the shop was so quiet. Everyone must've sensed the unfriendly atmosphere when they stepped in.


And, I'm starting to think that I might be a ghost.


WHY??? you say.

WHY!!!!! I ask you back.


I was at Tampines during my lunch break on Wednesday. I exited Tampines Mall through the exit where Samuel & Kevin was, and there was a Starbucks guy holding a tray of miniature drinks, new item lah; and was getting passer-bys to sample them.

I was hoping to get one also, but I'm a shy girl, remember? Yeah. So I did not go up to him and blatantly ask for one. I merely walked nearer to him, hoping to catch his attention so that I can get a free sample.

He Ignored Me!!

I was quite traumatised. Anyway, it was okay lah. I was just going to drop my cheque at the cheque deposit box outside Ya Kun so I made a turn back as quickly as I could, hoping that I could get a free sample this time.

I'm cheap lah, can?

He Ignored Me Again!!

Did he not see me, or what?

This happens a lot when I'm waiting for cabs in town too. Vacant cabs almost always don't stop for me unless I wave frantically, like a mad woman. If I wait at taxi stands, cabs will become non-existent.

I'm a potential fellow-cab-passengers hazard. If you are in urgent need of a cab in future, please stand far, far away from me okay?