Thanks hon. You were very nice to me.. Very tolerant of my negative mood.. Thank you very much for it.. I appreciate it loads. You know.

You were there for me when I cried my heart out. You were nice when I needed you to be.

Thank you.

I love you.

Thinking back on your words this afternoon, yeah, I shouldn't give up so easily. I think I shouldn't, too. This is not quite me. But you know, I have lost my fighting spirit. I realised that I have changed. I am no longer as strong as before. Why have I changed? For the worse? I don't know why. Being a kendoka, I should have more fighting spirit than others in me but I have given up my passion for things and activities I enjoy, in exchange for nothing.

I can't make up my mind, I really don't know which path I want to choose. Back to NUS? The thought of it really turns me off. But going to NIE is not what I really want to do. You know me so well. Going to NTU or SMU is not a feasible solution for me. Perhaps I should go find out more about the tuition grant before I decide what I want to do. If the tuition grant will be given a second time, then perhaps I will apply back to NUS to do another course. Or maybe I'll just go to NIE .. But I'll be stuck as an educator for the rest of my life. Shucks. That thought makes me cringe.

So I guess itz back to NUS for me? I don't know.. Urgh.. Can someone PLEASE enlighten me???