Angry.

I am not only positively traumatised, I am also positively angry.

Angry at my mother.

I called to let her know that I tested positive for thalassaemia and that she should also go for a test together with my dad and sisters because thalassaemia is a genetic blood disorder and is passed down from generation to generation.

Do you think I made a mistake in doing so? As in, taking the blood test and calling my mother to inform her?

Apparently, I did. And a huge mistake it is.

She scolded me for having too much time on my hands, for doing something unconstructive (inconstructive?), for bringing trouble to myself, and now, to my family as well. She scolded me for being bo liao.

I say,

Fuck It.

I did not do anything wrong.

I am serious about Eric and serious about making this relationship work long-term, and the logical thing to do, when his family went to test for thalassaemia, would be to test for thalassaemia as well because if both Eric and I have thalassaemia, there's a 50% chance that our kid will be born with thalassaemia major and this is a major blood illness.

The child will need to go for regular blood transfusions and take injections 5-7 times a week (that is like, everyday?) and to me, this is like fucking major suffering that a baby will have to go through, okay? Imagine your kid's companions will be needles, tubes and blood; instead of Lego and whatever toys I will buy for him/her. How fucking traumatising, no?

Since now we both know that we suffer from thalassaemia, we will be able to plan for a family better, since we are better informed and thus will be able to make important decisions, if the need arises.

Same goes for my sisters.

They, too, will eventually get into a relationship, settle down and start a family. Isn't it only fair for them to know if there's anything wrong with their bodies so that they can also make wise decisions? Thalassaemia is not that uncommon (like 4% of the population?) in Singapore so I think there's a chance that their partners may have thalassaemia too.

Coincidence, yeah, just like Dar and I.

You don't even get this lucky when you bet on 4D/Toto/Big Sweep, hor?

I just feel that my mom's crazy. Sometimes I also wonder about the amount of love she has for me. When I told her I have thalassaemia, she did not display any sign of concern like..

• What the heow is thalassaemia?


• So do I have to take any medication?


• What do I have to be careful of?

I mean, these are questions a concerned person would ask, but all she asked me was...

• Why you so bo liao?


• Why do you always have to get yourself into trouble?


• Why must you create trouble for your dad and I ? (previously because of my mitral valve prolapse condition, I wasn't able to get any medical insurance..)


• And now you bring trouble to the family as well?


• Can't you do something more constructive?

I retorted with..

I don't think I did anything wrong by going for the test.
And it's not my fault that I have thalassaemia.

She said..

Ya, you never do anything wrong. You're always right.

I almost broke down in tears because I really don't know, and really don't understand what is wrong with my mother. Is insurance really *that* important? I just feel it is better that she knows what medical condition(s) she has so that if anything happens to her *touchwood*, the appropriate information can be supplied to the authorities.

Why can't she just understand the main point and not just focus on the stupid insurance?

Damn this thing called insurance. Who is the moron who invented/came up with this business idea?


I still believe very strongly that I did not do anything wrong in taking the blood test and informing Mom that I have thalassaemia and that everyone should go and get a blood test done. I will never do anything to harm my family.


BAH.

**Update: I drank coffee because I was sleepy. Now that I have drunk coffee, I feel sick. Turdy.