It feels...

...like I'm back in the first trimester... or at least something resembling the first trimester, with moodiness, emotional outbursts, morning-noon-and-night sickness as well as feeling bloated.

I feel like shooting whoever said that the second trimester is the time for me to start enjoying my pregnancy. GRRRRrrrr.... It is not! The only part I enjoy about this phase of pregnancy is being able to eat all sorts of food without feeling sick just thinking about eating, being able to swallow my vitamins and coming back to work to earn $$.

Oh, and of course, feeling my unborn baby having a party of his own in there. Last night, I was reading in bed when I felt a contraction and saw a very visible and hard bump on just the right side of my tummy. Very cute! I assumed that bump to be the head of my baby and kept rubbing that area. Awwww...

Oh, erm. Where was I?

AH! Why I am not enjoying my pregnancy when this is supposed to be the "golden" period.

Because I cannot finish a meal on my own.

Because I get hungry all the time and yet cannot eat much.

Because I need to drink a lot of water. (Imagine downing 2 1-litre bottles of water everyday and then you come and tell me it's not tough at all.)

Because I have a slight bulge in my tummy and yet most people can't really tell there's a baby in there. That somehow equates to me looking fat. YUCK!

Because I can't fit into my regular clothes and maternity clothes are waaayyyy too big for me now. I have a limited choice of clothes and I alternate between 2 pairs of cropped cargo pants and 1 pair of drawstring pants; and 3 polo shirts.

I appear to be in the same clothes all the time and I suspect my colleagues are starting to think I'm too poor to buy new clothes. Which is not really the case. Well, I'm somewhat poor, but I have lots of new clothes actually, which I can't wear until after my customary wedding in about 2 weeks' time.

Because I am having a backache all the time. And it never goes away until I lie down. How I wish I can work in an office where I do my work while lying down in bed.

Because I'm feeling tired all the time. Where's the promised renewed energy and sense of wellbeing?

Because of emotional outbursts. I can get extremely angry at the slightest thing sometimes, and cannot control it. Just the other day I found my favourite pair of canvas shoes covered with dried grass and caked mud (courtesy of I-dunno-who-but-definitely-not-me). I blew up at everyone in sight, and even felt like crying. After that I felt guilty for lashing out at my sisters and extremely bewildered at the kind of person I became. I sometimes cry just because hubby is not with me and I start to think paranoid thoughts like he doesn't want me anymore because I am big and pregnant and unattractive. Crazy, hor?

Loss of brains. Oh yes you really don't know how it feels to suddenly feel like you're suffering from dementia. I sometimes cannot form coherent thoughts and my mind goes blank suddenly and I cannot remember what someone told me just 0.239235 seconds ago. Now can someone tell me why is 1 second singular and 0.239235 seconds plural? Huh?! So strange. I mean, 0.239235 seconds is less than 1, leh.

Sigh.

So you see, there are many big, fat lies that people everywhere tell first-time-moms, so don't believe anything that sounds nice until you experience it for yourself. Hur hur hur.

Now have to get back to work and make a mental note to eat more fruits. I know people read my blog. So please, if you can, tell me why 1 second is singular and 0.239235 seconds plural. Okay? Okay. Thanks very much.