Shit happens

and before you know it, it has already hit the fan. Ya.

I really hate my life now aside from the fact that I've a loving family. All the financial stress, stress from work and the incredibly unpleasant relationship with the maid (and also stories spun by her) is really taking a toll on me, so much that I shed tears last night and had morbid thoughts of dying and then leading another life. Which brings me back to this:

How would life be like for you if you weren't you?

Did you ever think about it?

Would you be more wealthy, or poverty stricken?

Would you be male or female?

Would you still be in the same country as you are living now?

Would your life be totally different?

Gosh.

Am I going to start having split personalities? Hallucinations??

I haven't felt this sadness for so long. Last night I felt as if I had taken so many wrong steps in my life and regret it so much that I kept thinking about how nice it would be if I could restart my life again. Then the insecurities set in because although I feel that life is terrible now, it could be much worse. I'm such a walking contradiction...