You know, I don't really know what to write here anymore..


I feel like I've finally found some direction in life, you know, what I want to do, how to go about doing it, what I want for myself and stuff like that... Sometimes I have to sacrifice certain things but then I have to stop and ask myself if it will be worth doing so. Like Dad said, to put my relationship aside for the time being until I finish my studies. He MAY be right, I'm not sure. That's because he doesn't know Jack well. He doesn't know what kind of plans Jack has for himself. And mind you, they're not only empty plans, but he has done some "homework" already. Things like costs and stuff. I dare to take the 50-50 chance that Jack will be a successful entrepreneur. If he's not (touchwood okay. Ha ha), well he has an engineer-significant-other behind him.. (If I become one, that is.) I believe Jack is not so childish as to become disillusioned on the real problem lying underneath should there be one day where we have to fight and have to say certain things in a fit of anger. I believe that there will come a day where Dad will have to eat his words (with salt and pepper. Ha ha) when Jack is a successful man.


I really hate writing about these solemn stuff but I have to..


I wanna be a biomedical materials engineer. It will be VERY fun.


I know people talked to Dad today about what happened to me. It just sucks. Certain stuff they said just pissed me off. Itz alright if they wanna mock me, look down on me but never... NEVER ever think I don't know what I'm doing... What's that shit about "What if she gets pregnant halfway through her studies in NTU....." Fuck off. All of you. I don't need your concern in this area. Who told you to give advice to my dad about whether or not to let me finish university education? I don't know who said these shit to Dad, and I don't wish to know. Better not let me find out. Itz up to my parents to decide if they wanna support me, and if they want to, who are you to even breathe your comments to him? Dad said this to me today.. "If I can, I will want to support you through your studies until you get your doctorate... By then, who will still dare to say that you took so long to get your degree, Dr. Pang? So, if you really want to further your studies, I will support you.. But you must not let me down again.." And what happened after that? I cried. Because... no matter how I let him down, he will have words of encouragement for me... Always... Ever since primary school.. He was always there whenever I needed someone to pull me out of such disappointing circumstances. How can I repay him for all he has done? I only know that I must be clear about what I want to do and do it well. That, in itself, is some kind of ermm.... (What's that word again?)